Hi, Levi, great introduction! I really like how you chose a record keeper/storyteller for your storybook to give it context and a reason for existing. It's fantastic that you chose a literal bird's eye view. However, going forward, I would be wary of writing in too omniscient of a voice. You've established that these stories are from the perspective of the hawk. So, the hawk won't know what the fox and coyote are thinking. It can only tell us what it sees. I think this will be a positive thing for your stories. You will have to really show us what these characters are thinking instead of just telling us outright.
I really enjoy the idea of the bumbling idiot fox trying to imitate his cool, sly coyote cousin. I think you could write some really funny stories with that premise. I would love to see an ending where the fox does succeed in tricking someone. Maybe he could even trick his cousin. While introducing these characters, you mention the fox is dumb twice. They're very close to each other. I would suggest removing one of them to tighten up your writing and make it flow a bit better.
Hi Levi! I think you have a very solid starting point to work off of for your storybook! I'll start by giving a bit of feedback on your site layout. I think the layout you have set up on your introduction is great, it's clean and simple, and it looks good. But your home page could probably use some sprucing up. We have this title, "The Coyote And The Boy", with no explanation of how that connects to anything else on the site. Your introduction makes no mention of a boy, but even if it did, it might be good to have a little something on the home page to explain the title and the theme of the storybook briefly. If you do that, you might try to make it look more like your introduction page, and I think adding a splash of color like you did with the red would make the page look much more polished, since the white calls a lot of attention to the empty space. As for your introduction, I think it does a very good job of giving an overview of what the storybook is going to be about. The only thing there is that, in your introduction, you have some grammar issues where you forgot apostrophes and slipped into present tense instead of past tense. It'd likely be a good idea to fix those things in order to polish the introduction to a beautiful shine, since that will be one of the first things people see. I wish you the best of luck with your storybook!
Hi Levi! I think your site looks great. I love how the title is very bolded at the top and very easy for people to tell what your site is about which I think is great. I also like the picture and think that it stands out a lot because it is a beautiful animal. I also like the colors of the site and think they stand out as well. I also think that your introduction is great. It gives a good intro to what your story is going to be about and introduces many of the characters which gives people a great understanding of what and who to look out for. I think introducing the hawk first would be a great thing to do because that is the title of the page when looking at it. But I do think you do a great job of introducing the characters and what their roles are in the story.
Hi Levi! I was a big fan of the way that your website looked. I love the way that you made the fox and coyote cousins. I also like that you made the fox dumb because foxes are sometimes portrayed as cleaver creatures but in the wild they have been known to do some dumb things. I think that you did a great job with the world building in this story. You made me very interested in the characters in a very brief time period. I like that you are making this from the perspective of the hawk who minds his business but obviously he had to be noisy by always watching but never joining in. It makes me really intrigued to see all of the shenanigans that the fox and coyote will get into and how the coyote will constantly have to get the fox out of trouble.
Hello Levi! I really do love the way your website is designed and the visual presentation of it. I think the colors and organizational structure look great. I also really like the name of your blog. The feedback I'd like to give is maybe lighten up the dark gray on your comment wall, but honestly overall, I think it is very visually appealing and looks very professional. I hope you have been enjoying the semester so far and have liked reading and rewriting stories every week. I think you did a great job in your introduction post as well. It was very well written and informational. Overall, I think that you have done a stellar job at organizing and designing your story book. I love it!
Hello Levi, I love the layout of your website. I love the simplistic approach that you had in designing it, it is not overwhelming and keeps the visitors eyes moving. You have a very professional look to the website. I absolutely love the Chicken Fried Steak story, I had a few laughs and now have a craving for some good ole' southern cooking. I like how you told the story through the chickens perspective, it provided a bit of irony, and the fact that the coyote thought it was called that because chickens made it was hysterical. I love your sense of comedy within your writing, it keeps the reader intrigued and read to the end. I look forward to reading more from you in the upcoming weeks.
I love the layout of your storybook! I like the red accents (boomer!) and the pictures of the coyotes are amazing. I especially like the header picture! It really sets a fierce mood.
I also appreciate that your storybook is nice, neat, and organized. It makes it super easy to navigate, which is nice for us readers. Some people have made their storybooks overwhelming or very complicated, but simplicity is nice. So, thank you for the simple, yet appealing layout.
You keep blowing me away with these images! The introduction with the hawk has such cool pictures! I also love how you are narrating through the hawk for the coyote. It is very different than everyone else, which I like. Most people tend to do 1st person, but I like this idea of using the perspective of another character.
I am looking forward to reading more of your stories this semester! Keep up the excellent work.
Hi Levi， I really like to read your story. Your project is impressive and attractive. You put several images into your website which could help each reader to imagine some scenes and pictures in their minds. I think this is a really good strategy for us to build the website. Besides, your pictures layout is very reasonable and comfortable for me, all these factors improve the read ability of the website. Next, your plots would never make me feel boring. They provide the motivation for me to continue reading forward. Moreover, the specific description in your story is vivid and interesting. For example, each character shows their unique personalities and characteristics. However, I think you could change the background picture to another one since that would make readers a little bit hard to read the story. Also, you can enlarge the font appropriately which would also make your project get better than before.
Hey Levi! I was honestly cracking up at the creativity and humor of this story. I thought the hawk basically spying on the stupidity of the coyote and the fox was just great. I feel like we've all laughed at our friend's stupidity a time or two as well. I won't lie, Foxe’s reply to a chicken actually frying a steak was so funny but it definitely made me stop and think about the name of the food and how funny it is. I felt that sadly, Fox did have a point, that name can be misleading! I'm curious about a few things! In this world your characters live in, do animals have access to all kinds of human food? Or was this like an all-animal world and they lived like human’s situation? I just thought it would be cool to know the background a bit but it could definitely make the situation funnier!
Hey Levi, I really like the layout of your page. I loved that in the introduction you have a different animal that is essentially the narrator of the stories. I found this to be a very cool way to introduce the reader to your story. I am curious to see what else you are going to do with the rest of your stories. I really enjoyed this one and loved how the hawk was a spy on the other animals. I especially liked this because it makes sense that the hawk would be the spy as he is able to fly while the other animals are stuck on the ground. I also love stories that have to do with animals. I find that animals are very symbolic of real people and are a more fun way of writing a story than just using people. One thing you could consider doing is breaking apart the dialogue into separate lines so it seems more distinct and does not get lost into one big paragraph. I remember when I would read books I would appreciate how they did that so it felt easy and quick to read while also containing all the important information needed. Overall, I loved the story and it was really good.
Hi Levi! I really enjoy the layout of your website and the colors you chose. I think it is visually appealing and loos professional. I enjoyed reading your introduction post. I always enjoy getting to know my classmates and learn about what their interests and hobbies are. I read your story, COYOTE, FOX, AND A CHICKEN FRIED STEAK, and it truly made me laugh. I thought this was a great and light hearted to read, especially after this crazy year we've had! I thought your transitions flowed very well and your grammar was correct. I thought your story was very creative as well, I would never think to write a story about a coyote, a fox, and chicken fried steak. My favorite sentence you said in your story was, "That it why all animals eat chicken fried steak today." I think you could maybe provide more sentences from Coyote's point of view, but overall I think you did a great job. I loved reading your story and introduction post.
Hi, Levi! I think your storybook page is very captivating with pictures of the coyote and hawk as well as the red color; it is fitting for the topic of your storybook. First off, I loved reading the stories. They were light-hearted and humorous; I’m glad that you decided to include the Fox character because he’s the antithesis of the coyote. It’s great that a picture of a coyote is included on the homepage. I also liked how you have the same picture used for the banner on each page; it’s consistent and supports the coyote topic. With your first story, I found the chicken fried steak picture makes it a little more difficult to read than others. The picture does help to add to the story! Maybe it would be easier if the font was in bold? Or maybe the picture of chicken fried steak could be posted on the side? What if you put it at the bottom instead of having the picture of the bear? Overall, I think your stories are funny and great and you have good images - good work!
Hi Levi! I want to start by saying I really enjoyed your introduction! It is such a cool idea to tell the stories from the point of view of the hawk! I also enjoyed that you add humor to the stories. I think you did a great job by separating the author's note from the rest of the story. Because it is separate and a different color, it is very easy to find. I like that both of your stories so far have a moral of the story, as well as a background story for something that occurs to this day. Overall, I think you did a great job with the writing and the formatting!
Hi Levi :) I really liked your storybook as a whole! It's definitely one of my favorites so far. Your Intro was really great! I liked how you set it up. It was like an intro for a show in my head. I like how it's set up to prematurely introduce the reader to the main characters and the narrator. Because of that, I can already get a sense of what Hawk's narration is going to be like, and I can already prime myself for Coyote's and Fox's interactions with each other. I loved your first story so much! It genuinely made me laugh out loud a couple of times. Your humor is awesome, and I love how it's incorporated. Coyote is such a chaotic character, I love it. My favorite parts were Fox being confused about what a chicken fried steak is and Coyote blasting country music on his phone. (Was that a Field of Dreams reference?) Your second story is also really good. Fox is reinforces his title as the most Lovable Idiot in the world, lol! I really like how you had Hawk narrate it. You can really feel the TV show style your going for. It definitely comes across like that, and I could totally see this as a series.
Hi Levi, I really enjoyed your storybook! I absolutely cracked up about Coyote stealing the chicken fried steak back for the people. I used to love chicken fry until my allergies got the best of me! I really enjoy this story as a great reason why so many folks love chicken fried steak, at least in this part of the country. I appreciated having Hawk as the narrator throughout your stories. Having that one consistent voice throughout the tales of Coyote was very helpful and I feel like it really set the tone for your storybook. Hawk seemed to be a pretty reliable narrator which is great when your tales are about a trickster. The overall layout of your storybook is great and makes the stories easy to read through. I appreciated your author's notes and description of where each character came from. For reader's who are not familiar with Coyote type tales I would imagine with was super helpful in knowing who the characters are and what to expect. I really enjoyed reading your Storybook! Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us! -Eli
Hi Levi, I really enjoyed going through your storybook. I want to congratulate your first on the choice of colors and pictures for your storybook. Those colors and choices of your pictures brings joy. It's definitely one of my favorite storybooks so far. I also like the introduction, it's nice to know that i was going to read the story with the hawk as the narrator. I also liked how you described every character on your introduction. Going back to the first story, your sense of humor made me laugh so much while reading it. i like how you made the coyote to be a chaotic character. Your second story author's note is very well written, it gives you the insight on how the normal story was and how you made it your own. Again, great job on your storybook and thank you for sharing it with us.
Hi, Levi, great introduction! I really like how you chose a record keeper/storyteller for your storybook to give it context and a reason for existing. It's fantastic that you chose a literal bird's eye view. However, going forward, I would be wary of writing in too omniscient of a voice. You've established that these stories are from the perspective of the hawk. So, the hawk won't know what the fox and coyote are thinking. It can only tell us what it sees. I think this will be a positive thing for your stories. You will have to really show us what these characters are thinking instead of just telling us outright.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the idea of the bumbling idiot fox trying to imitate his cool, sly coyote cousin. I think you could write some really funny stories with that premise. I would love to see an ending where the fox does succeed in tricking someone. Maybe he could even trick his cousin. While introducing these characters, you mention the fox is dumb twice. They're very close to each other. I would suggest removing one of them to tighten up your writing and make it flow a bit better.
Overall, good job so far!
Hi Levi!
ReplyDeleteI think you have a very solid starting point to work off of for your storybook!
I'll start by giving a bit of feedback on your site layout.
I think the layout you have set up on your introduction is great, it's clean and simple, and it looks good.
But your home page could probably use some sprucing up. We have this title, "The Coyote And The Boy", with no explanation of how that connects to anything else on the site.
Your introduction makes no mention of a boy, but even if it did, it might be good to have a little something on the home page to explain the title and the theme of the storybook briefly.
If you do that, you might try to make it look more like your introduction page, and I think adding a splash of color like you did with the red would make the page look much more polished, since the white calls a lot of attention to the empty space.
As for your introduction, I think it does a very good job of giving an overview of what the storybook is going to be about.
The only thing there is that, in your introduction, you have some grammar issues where you forgot apostrophes and slipped into present tense instead of past tense.
It'd likely be a good idea to fix those things in order to polish the introduction to a beautiful shine, since that will be one of the first things people see.
I wish you the best of luck with your storybook!
Hi Levi!
ReplyDeleteI think your site looks great. I love how the title is very bolded at the top and very easy for people to tell what your site is about which I think is great. I also like the picture and think that it stands out a lot because it is a beautiful animal. I also like the colors of the site and think they stand out as well. I also think that your introduction is great. It gives a good intro to what your story is going to be about and introduces many of the characters which gives people a great understanding of what and who to look out for. I think introducing the hawk first would be a great thing to do because that is the title of the page when looking at it. But I do think you do a great job of introducing the characters and what their roles are in the story.
Hi Levi! I was a big fan of the way that your website looked. I love the way that you made the fox and coyote cousins. I also like that you made the fox dumb because foxes are sometimes portrayed as cleaver creatures but in the wild they have been known to do some dumb things. I think that you did a great job with the world building in this story. You made me very interested in the characters in a very brief time period. I like that you are making this from the perspective of the hawk who minds his business but obviously he had to be noisy by always watching but never joining in. It makes me really intrigued to see all of the shenanigans that the fox and coyote will get into and how the coyote will constantly have to get the fox out of trouble.
ReplyDeleteHello Levi! I really do love the way your website is designed and the visual presentation of it. I think the colors and organizational structure look great. I also really like the name of your blog. The feedback I'd like to give is maybe lighten up the dark gray on your comment wall, but honestly overall, I think it is very visually appealing and looks very professional. I hope you have been enjoying the semester so far and have liked reading and rewriting stories every week. I think you did a great job in your introduction post as well. It was very well written and informational. Overall, I think that you have done a stellar job at organizing and designing your story book. I love it!
ReplyDeleteHello Levi,
ReplyDeleteI love the layout of your website. I love the simplistic approach that you had in designing it, it is not overwhelming and keeps the visitors eyes moving. You have a very professional look to the website. I absolutely love the Chicken Fried Steak story, I had a few laughs and now have a craving for some good ole' southern cooking. I like how you told the story through the chickens perspective, it provided a bit of irony, and the fact that the coyote thought it was called that because chickens made it was hysterical. I love your sense of comedy within your writing, it keeps the reader intrigued and read to the end. I look forward to reading more from you in the upcoming weeks.
Hi Levi,
ReplyDeleteI love the layout of your storybook! I like the red accents (boomer!) and the pictures of the coyotes are amazing. I especially like the header picture! It really sets a fierce mood.
I also appreciate that your storybook is nice, neat, and organized. It makes it super easy to navigate, which is nice for us readers. Some people have made their storybooks overwhelming or very complicated, but simplicity is nice. So, thank you for the simple, yet appealing layout.
You keep blowing me away with these images! The introduction with the hawk has such cool pictures! I also love how you are narrating through the hawk for the coyote. It is very different than everyone else, which I like. Most people tend to do 1st person, but I like this idea of using the perspective of another character.
I am looking forward to reading more of your stories this semester! Keep up the excellent work.
-Libby
Hi Levi，
ReplyDeleteI really like to read your story. Your project is impressive and attractive.
You put several images into your website which could help each reader to imagine some scenes and pictures in their minds. I think this is a really good strategy for us to build the website. Besides, your pictures layout is very reasonable and comfortable for me, all these factors improve the read ability of the website.
Next, your plots would never make me feel boring. They provide the motivation for me to continue reading forward. Moreover, the specific description in your story is vivid and interesting. For example, each character shows their unique personalities and characteristics.
However, I think you could change the background picture to another one since that would make readers a little bit hard to read the story. Also, you can enlarge the font appropriately which would also make your project get better than before.
Hey Levi!
ReplyDeleteI was honestly cracking up at the creativity and humor of this story. I thought the hawk basically spying on the stupidity of the coyote and the fox was just great. I feel like we've all laughed at our friend's stupidity a time or two as well. I won't lie, Foxe’s reply to a chicken actually frying a steak was so funny but it definitely made me stop and think about the name of the food and how funny it is. I felt that sadly, Fox did have a point, that name can be misleading! I'm curious about a few things! In this world your characters live in, do animals have access to all kinds of human food? Or was this like an all-animal world and they lived like human’s situation? I just thought it would be cool to know the background a bit but it could definitely make the situation funnier!
Hey Levi,
ReplyDeleteI really like the layout of your page. I loved that in the introduction you have a different animal that is essentially the narrator of the stories. I found this to be a very cool way to introduce the reader to your story. I am curious to see what else you are going to do with the rest of your stories. I really enjoyed this one and loved how the hawk was a spy on the other animals. I especially liked this because it makes sense that the hawk would be the spy as he is able to fly while the other animals are stuck on the ground. I also love stories that have to do with animals. I find that animals are very symbolic of real people and are a more fun way of writing a story than just using people. One thing you could consider doing is breaking apart the dialogue into separate lines so it seems more distinct and does not get lost into one big paragraph. I remember when I would read books I would appreciate how they did that so it felt easy and quick to read while also containing all the important information needed. Overall, I loved the story and it was really good.
Hi Levi! I really enjoy the layout of your website and the colors you chose. I think it is visually appealing and loos professional. I enjoyed reading your introduction post. I always enjoy getting to know my classmates and learn about what their interests and hobbies are. I read your story, COYOTE, FOX, AND A CHICKEN FRIED STEAK, and it truly made me laugh. I thought this was a great and light hearted to read, especially after this crazy year we've had! I thought your transitions flowed very well and your grammar was correct. I thought your story was very creative as well, I would never think to write a story about a coyote, a fox, and chicken fried steak. My favorite sentence you said in your story was, "That it why all animals eat chicken fried steak today." I think you could maybe provide more sentences from Coyote's point of view, but overall I think you did a great job. I loved reading your story and introduction post.
ReplyDeleteHi, Levi! I think your storybook page is very captivating with pictures of the coyote and hawk as well as the red color; it is fitting for the topic of your storybook. First off, I loved reading the stories. They were light-hearted and humorous; I’m glad that you decided to include the Fox character because he’s the antithesis of the coyote. It’s great that a picture of a coyote is included on the homepage. I also liked how you have the same picture used for the banner on each page; it’s consistent and supports the coyote topic. With your first story, I found the chicken fried steak picture makes it a little more difficult to read than others. The picture does help to add to the story! Maybe it would be easier if the font was in bold? Or maybe the picture of chicken fried steak could be posted on the side? What if you put it at the bottom instead of having the picture of the bear? Overall, I think your stories are funny and great and you have good images - good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Levi!
ReplyDeleteI want to start by saying I really enjoyed your introduction! It is such a cool idea to tell the stories from the point of view of the hawk! I also enjoyed that you add humor to the stories. I think you did a great job by separating the author's note from the rest of the story. Because it is separate and a different color, it is very easy to find. I like that both of your stories so far have a moral of the story, as well as a background story for something that occurs to this day. Overall, I think you did a great job with the writing and the formatting!
Hi Levi :)
ReplyDeleteI really liked your storybook as a whole! It's definitely one of my favorites so far.
Your Intro was really great! I liked how you set it up. It was like an intro for a show in my head. I like how it's set up to prematurely introduce the reader to the main characters and the narrator. Because of that, I can already get a sense of what Hawk's narration is going to be like, and I can already prime myself for Coyote's and Fox's interactions with each other.
I loved your first story so much! It genuinely made me laugh out loud a couple of times. Your humor is awesome, and I love how it's incorporated. Coyote is such a chaotic character, I love it. My favorite parts were Fox being confused about what a chicken fried steak is and Coyote blasting country music on his phone. (Was that a Field of Dreams reference?)
Your second story is also really good. Fox is reinforces his title as the most Lovable Idiot in the world, lol! I really like how you had Hawk narrate it. You can really feel the TV show style your going for. It definitely comes across like that, and I could totally see this as a series.
Hi Levi,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your storybook! I absolutely cracked up about Coyote stealing the chicken fried steak back for the people. I used to love chicken fry until my allergies got the best of me! I really enjoy this story as a great reason why so many folks love chicken fried steak, at least in this part of the country.
I appreciated having Hawk as the narrator throughout your stories. Having that one consistent voice throughout the tales of Coyote was very helpful and I feel like it really set the tone for your storybook. Hawk seemed to be a pretty reliable narrator which is great when your tales are about a trickster.
The overall layout of your storybook is great and makes the stories easy to read through. I appreciated your author's notes and description of where each character came from. For reader's who are not familiar with Coyote type tales I would imagine with was super helpful in knowing who the characters are and what to expect.
I really enjoyed reading your Storybook! Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us!
-Eli
Hi Levi,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed going through your storybook. I want to congratulate your first on the choice of colors and pictures for your storybook. Those colors and choices of your pictures brings joy. It's definitely one of my favorite storybooks so far. I also like the introduction, it's nice to know that i was going to read the story with the hawk as the narrator. I also liked how you described every character on your introduction.
Going back to the first story, your sense of humor made me laugh so much while reading it. i like how you made the coyote to be a chaotic character.
Your second story author's note is very well written, it gives you the insight on how the normal story was and how you made it your own. Again, great job on your storybook and thank you for sharing it with us.